


Gone

by DeeNuke



Category: 19 Days, 19天, 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: 19 days - Freeform, 19天 - Freeform, BL, Boy Love, Fluff, Friendship, He Tian/Mo Guan Shan - Freeform, Hurt Mo Guan Shan, M/M, Manhwa, One Shot, School Life, Short One Shot, Tianshan - Freeform, hetian - Freeform, highschool, highschool life, mo - Freeform, old xian, old先, one day, 兄与弟, 展正希 - Freeform, 炸贱 - Freeform, 见, 贺天 - Freeform, 贺顶红 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29155989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeeNuke/pseuds/DeeNuke
Summary: Inspired by chapter 348 (19 Days)
Relationships: He Tian & Mo Guanshan (19 Days), He Tian / Mo Guan Shan - Relationship, He Tian/Mo, He Tian/Mo Guan Shan, TianShan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 81





	Gone

**Author's Note:**

> POSSIBLE SPOILER: in case you haven't read chapter 348 of 19 Days.

He Tian’s seat was still empty, the desk vacant as though nobody had even dared to claim it from its master in his absence. It had been like that since He Tian had left the school. Everybody had been taken aback and some had been even shocked by the news, but not on the level Mo had been. He knew that nothing was going to change just because he was passing every day by Tian’s classroom, checking if he was back. 

Yet, every day, Mo would pop his head into the classroom only to find Tian’s seat still empty. Tian’s classmates had started glaring at him, some even pitied him, Mo could hear them whisper the moment he was walking down the corridor to Tian’s classroom, but that didn’t stop him. First day without Tian, Mo had dismissed his absence as a fluke, he didn’t even bother to look for him or ask Jian Yi or Zhan Zheng Xi if they had seen him.

Evening had come and Mo still had no news or even a message from Tian when usually the asshole would bother him constantly. It was then when Mo’s worries had really started to take roots in his heart. Another day had passed and then another and He Tian was still nowhere to be found. Then more days had followed without a message or a sign from him. 

Sure enough that very week Mo had found out why Tian had been missing. He had heard some teachers talking in the hallways of the school, mentioning He Tian’s ‘unfortunate’ transfer - their best student and asset had gone to another school. It was Mo who had given the other two the news and a somewhat gloomy mood washed over them all; suddenly their circle was broken. Mo still remembered how they all sat in silence, too confused by the situation, not really knowing what to do or even what to think. Now three weeks later after Tian’s transfer, the remaining three were still rather silent in each other’s presence as though Tian had been the glue that kept them together. 

It was yet another sunny autumn day, warm and pleasant when Mo, Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi met on their usual spot, during the break. It was a somewhat secluded corner of the school, sheltered by three big trees that now had turned golden in the warm autumn’s breeze. Days had gone by and they had barely talked and still none of them had had a message from Tian. Zhan Zheng Xi had been the one to break that awkward silence and finally decided to ask the teachers about Tian. Jian Yi had been left behind to ‘tend’ to Mo as always. If this was going to hurt someone, they all knew that Mo was going to feel the brunt of it. 

Crouched down, a sandwich in his hand, Yi looked towards Mo, but said nothing, not really knowing how to start the conversation. Mo had lashed out at him a couple of times now, sure, he had apologised after, but his temper had been all over the place since Tian had left. As for now, Yi couldn’t tell for sure if Mo was sad or angry. He stood with his neck craned, jaws clenched so tightly that Yi could hear the soft gritting of his teeth. His hands were balled up in his fists and he just sat on the ground, back leaned against one of the trees. 

“Youuuuu… alright, Redhead?” Yi finally dared, but even if his stomach made a hungry sound, he didn’t take a bite from his sandwich.

It took Mo a couple of good seconds to hear the words, let them sink in and then when they finally did, he sighed deeply. “Do I look okay?” he asked and finally turned his head to look at Yi.

Swallowing hard, Yi quickly lowered his eyes, pursing his lips a little. “I’m sorry…,” he murmured and sniffed.

“I’m sorry, too…,” Mo answered with another sigh. He remained silent for a bit, then suddenly sadly snorted, trying to smile, “it’s stupid, isn’t it?” he said and felt Yi’s eyes on him once more. “I always moan about how much I hate him and now… now that he’s gone, I—,” he stopped, feeling a knot in his throat. “I don’t know…,” he quickly added, feeling defeated, his voice breaking a little. Shrugging, he shook his head, averting his eyes from Yi’s and cradled his head in his hands. 

Truth be told, Mo was ready to accept whatever explanation Tian would have given him, but it had been weeks now and no one had heard one single damn word from him. Sometimes Mo’s text messages were not even reaching their destination and those that did, ended up not being read. Maybe it was better this way, Mo didn’t want to imagine how he would have felt to have his desperate messages read and never answered. But that knowledge did not help at all, he still felt powerless, worried and, above all, abandoned. That was what he hated the most, feeling like he had been abandoned, but even more so, the fact that he had been reduced to that extent to wallow in that state of mind.

“I…,” Yi briefly paused to sniff and Mo blinked when he heard his voice, trying to refocus his thoughts. “I don’t think it’s stupid…,” Yi continued, his voice quiet as though he was afraid to speak. “I would feel the same way if…,” he stopped again and looked up in the direction where Zhan Zheng Xi had gone earlier, “if Xi Xi were to transfer schools…,” he added and quickly looked away again.

Turning his head towards Yi, Mo looked at him for a couple of seconds. How lucky Jian Yi was to have Zhan Zheng Xi around him. As for him, he should have known, right? Nothing good really lasts, why did he even bother to make friends? Only to feel like his heart was being slowly chipped at when they were disappearing from his life? Had he not learned his lesson when his father had been taken away from him? With a sigh, Mo forced a weak smile, reached out and patted Yi’s head. “Uhm…,” he made a sudden, quiet sound, “soft…,” he whispered and sighed again. “Tian was right…,” he added, “your hair is soft…,” Mo sniffed and that knot in his throat felt like it was going to choke him now.

“We’re going to find out where he went…,” Yi suddenly said, not moving away from Mo even if he utterly disliked being touched by anyone else than Zhan Zheng Xi. “Xi Xi is going to ask the teachers and I…,” he said and pondered for a bit, “I… I guess I can ask Brother Qiu…,” he quickly nodded, satisfied that he had found something useful to do for Mo. “He’s still roaming around here…” he added, glancing over his shoulder as though he could feel Qiu’s eyes on him. 

“And then what?” Mo suddenly asked, briefly chewing on his lower lip. “Then I’m going to transfer schools, too?” he snorted annoyed. “Let’s be serious, Yi…,” Mo grunted loudly, “if… if Tian wanted to let us know where he is, he would have told us, no?” he looked at Yi, his eyes sad. “If he wanted to let me know what he’s doing, he would have called… like always…,” he added and his shoulders slouched. “But he doesn’t even reply to my messages…,” he added, lowering his eyes again. 

Watching him, Yi felt something in his stomach swirl. He rewrapped his sandwich and set it aside, then moved closer to Mo. Following suit, he sat down on the grass and leaned his back against the same tree, then remain silent for a bit, his head tilted back, eyes on the golden-leaf laded branches above his head. This would have been such a beautiful day if they were all together, but no… one of them was missing.

“I don’t claim I know much, but…,” Yi started talking, swallowing hard in the process, “I don’t think Tian wanted to leave…,” he added and felt Mo’s eyes on him. He turned his head, smiled a little and shrugged. “He’s annoying, I’ll give you that, but… he gives a shit, especially about you…,” he went on. “When you weren’t with us, he would always ask about you, where you were, he sometimes watched you play basketball during P.E., he would chase you down the corridors and drag you around with us even if you had other things to do… and you think he would just leave you?” he said and shrugged. “Honestly now…”

Listening, Mo pondered, but even if those words made his heart beat faster, the thoughts in his head pushed him to believe otherwise. When he was going to meet Tian again, he was going to strangle him for this, yet that thought quickly melted into a puddle of doubt. The _‘when’_ turned into an _‘if’_ and fear started to crawl inside his heart again because there was a big possibility that he was not going to see Tian again.

“It’s weird, no? I mean…,” Yi continued, briefly looking up at the tree once more. “We started as enemies…,” he chuckled, “you had issues with me, then with Xi Xi, we got our arses whooped royally…,” he chuckled, giving Mo a big, satisfied grin, “and now here we are…,” he smiled, “Satan himself is missing and we’re all shitting bricks about it…,” he sighed tiredly. “Such a fucking mess.”

“You make so little sense, Yi…,” Mo added, feeling a little exhausted by the entire speech, but inwardly needing to smile at how things had turned out for them all because of that damn day in the school’s courtyard. 

“I know, I know,” Yi complained, “I didn’t say I’m good at giving inspirational or motivational speeches, no?” he rolled his eyes and grabbed a stick from the ground, starting to poke a beetle with it. 

Looking at Yi a little confused, Mo squinted his eyes. “But your point was?” he urged him to continue, not really understanding where all that was going.

“Right, my point…,” Yi quickly smiled, “my point is that… Tian’s family is a bit… special…,” he added, “I mean, apparently mine’s, too…,” he sniffed, quickly changing the subject back to Tian, “I’m just saying that maybe he _had_ to leave,” he concluded, then pursed his lips, making a sound as though to break any awkwardness that statement might have caused.

“Huh…” Mo faintly nodded, squinting his eyes at Yi. “Forced you mean?” and saw Yi just nod without saying anything else. 

There was silence then Mo suddenly exploded, “Fucking hell, Yi!” he slapped the back of his head, making Yi cough, “that’s even worse than him leaving us behind…,” Mo silently grunted, hiding his face in his hands for a bit, nervously rubbing his face. “That means what? That he’s in danger?” Mo looked up, his eyes big, trying to compute the load of information he had been given.

Realising that what he had said had the opposite effect on Mo, Yi froze for a moment. “I-I’m… sure he’ll come back…,” he quickly added, trying to fix whatever he had broken. “Oooor at least he’ll let us know what’s going on… in… his way…,” he sniffed, “and own time…,” Yi pursed his lips a little, nodding really quickly, rubbing his head where Mo had slapped him. “Meanwhile, if Xi Xi finds out where he transferred, maybe you can…,” he shrugged, “you know…,” he now gently elbowed Mo in the ribs, “drop by and.. Surpiseeee!” he gave Mo a big smile.

“That’s such a dumb idea, Yi!” Mo snorted and shook his head, “But I like it!” he instantly added and eyed Yi, smiling a little at him. “I’m up for it…,” he paused, “I’ll find him and… I’ll strangle him,” Mo randomly continued, “gouge his eyes out and shove them so far up his rich-kid ass, he’ll need a dentist to take them back out!” Mo added, his fists clenched.

“Riiiiiight… that’s not how I imagined things would go, but seems accurate,” Yi swallowed hard and exhaled a little worried, averting his eyes from Mo’s. “You two are always so soft with each other…,” he sarcastically said to himself, not wanting to know the repercussions of those words if Mo heard them.

Yet Mo remained silent, pondering. What Yi had suggested, was indeed a stupid idea, but Mo knew that if Zhan Zheng Xi was going to come back with the information he needed, he was going to skip school that very damn day. Why did he not think about that before? Mo grunted annoyed at himself, then calmed down. No teacher would have entrusted _him_ , of all people, with such information anyway. Between the three of them, Zhan Zheng Xi was indeed the one who could get it. 

“Yeah!” Mo suddenly said, making Yi recoil lightly from him, “I’ll do it!” Mo nodded, even more determined.

Eyes on Mo, Yi intently looked at him for a bit trying to understand if Mo was making fun of him or was indeed serious. Finally deciding the redhead was not taking a piss, he chuckled happily. “We’ll come with you… I mean… now that we’re friend, we gotta get in trouble together, no?” he said proudly and finally dared to take his sandwich back. He was about to open it and take a bite, his stomach protesting rather loudly now, when a voice from somewhere behind him interrupted him.

“Now isn’t that sweet?” the voice rang in Mo’s and Yi’s ears.

They both froze as though they had been caught doing something illegal until the voice properly registered. It was Mo who reacted first, heart hammering in his chest, first from panic, then when the realisation hit home. This was not She Li’s voice; this was Tian’s voice. He turned around so suddenly that he almost hit Yi again in the process and there, now facing him, was Tian’s hooded head popping out from the bush behind him.

“Missed me, suckers?” Tian chuckled, but quietly and Mo felt the familiar weight on Tian’s arm wrapping around his own shoulders.

A small breather came from Mo as though he finally felt peace. Instead, his other hand grabbed Tian’s shirt, fingers curling tightly into it. He didn’t look at him, but around them as though to make sure that no one had seen them and the next moment he was on his feet, dragging Tian after him. Yi had reacted just as swiftly because Mo had heard Yi say something about going to look for and find Xi Xi and then catching up with them in the gym.

_‘Gym it is’_ , Mo heard Tian agree and they both headed that way. Yes, the gym was empty now, whoever was going to have P.E. was going to be outside anyway. It didn’t matter if he was going to skip a class, Tian had obviously skipped one or two as well to be there now. Mo kept running, Tian’s steps following right behind him, both of them barging inside the gym hall the moment they reached the building.

“Empty!” Mo said as he looked around, his eyes searching for other students, but as they had guessed, no one was there. The door slammed loudly behind him and Mo turned around ready to say something, stay true to that promise of punching Tian in the face the moment he saw him. But instead of angry words and fists, hands grasped his arm and he was pulled back. His back hit the wall and a small huff left his lungs. “The fuck are you doin—?” he tried to speak, get out of Tian’s way, but the same hands that had so violently pulled him back, now gently rested on the sides of his neck. He suddenly remained still, his heart hammering in his chest, his eyes fixed on Tian’s face.

The will to argue drained from him like snow melts in spring under the sun, and he remained still. Tian looked exhausted, sad, but also… maybe relieved. Mo couldn’t quite tell. His head was swimming a little now and heat swirled in his stomach. Tian’s scent was all around him, salty sweat, tobacco, and his way-too-expensive-cologne that he kept ‘borrowing’ from his older brother. He felt Tian inch closer, so instead of arguing, he reached up and cupped Tian’s face in his hands in return. “It’s okay…,” he whispered and instinctively leaned his forehead against Tian’s. “It’s okay…,” he said quietly, though those words soothed his ache, too.

As though that was exactly what he needed to hear, Tian relaxed and exhaled deeply with a shuddering breath. “Do you hate me?” he asked, eyes closed now as he kept his forehead against Mo’s, not moving an inch from him.

“I always do…,” Mo snorted and heard, or maybe felt, Tian smile. For some time now he could tell when Tian was looking at him, as though those grey eyes of his held a fire that burnt him each time they gazed his way.

“Where did you go?” he asked after some moments of silence, but just like Tian, he did not move away from him, not even to look at him.

“My father did this…,” Tian said and sighed, “I didn’t want to leave…,” he continued and finally looked back at Mo. “You need to believe me!” he begged, now looking at Mo, his eyes pleading.

Looking up, gazing at Tian as though he was pondering his words, Mo nodded slowly. He had no reason to doubt him, but in case he had done so and he had not realised it, Tian’s expression told him everything he needed to know. Tian was not soft, not easily defeated, but something had happened because now he looked cornered and threatened, sneaking around like a hunted animal, that angry fire in him reduced to mere embers. But Yi had told him just moments ago, that Tian’s family was _‘special’,_ so maybe indeed, something had happened. “I believe you…,” he suddenly said and sniffed, “but you could have sent a message, you asshole!” he scolded him. “We were all worried…,” he grabbed his t-shirt, shaking him a little.

“I know, I know… I’m sorry…,” Tian whispered, tilting his head to the side a little, taking Mo’s hand in his, bringing it to his cheek, then leaning into it. 

One day Tian would have to explain what the hell was going on, but he knew very well that day was not today. For now, they were lucky they got here. “So what now?” Mo asked, smiling a little, “are we going to skip classes to sneak around and see each other behind your father’s back?” he snorted and Tian suddenly looked happier than he had ever been.

“Like some secret lovers?” Tian grinned at Mo, only to be punched in the shoulder for that remark. 

“Secret lovers, my ass!” Mo deflected, but still whispering, not wanting to raise his voice. 

“But would you do that? For me?” Tian didn’t let him continue to argue, a big smile on his lips, definitely not taking Mo’s words as a joke.

A little taken aback, Mo remained silent, then snorted, “I guess I’m already skipping this class to hide with you in the fucking gym, you dumbass!” Mo chuckled and the moment he said that he felt Tian’s arms wrap around him. He said nothing else, he couldn’t even fight him, so instead he just leaned his forehead against his shoulder and remained still, one hand still on the side of Tian’s head, the other desperately clinging to his t-shirt.

“You should have called…,” Mo whispered and breathed him in again.

“I know…,” Tian whispered, but both remained like that, in each other’s arms, still and quiet, unable to move or pull away as though even breathing was going to wake them up and end a beautiful dream. Mo realised the knot in his throat was now gone, only to be replaced with a faint ache in his chest, yet his breathing was finally calm and his mind at peace. 

“Yi and Xi are going to be here any moment now…,” Mo managed to say, yet he still didn’t pull away or move.

“Until they do, you stay like this…,” Tian whispered and buried his face in the nook of Mo’s neck, “just a moment would be fine…,” he added quietly, breathing him in deeply.

“I’m not going anywhere…,” Mo said and sighed, now praying that Yi and Xi were going to be late just a little bit longer.

“Are you taking care of yourself?” Tian suddenly asked, his quiet voice making Mo lightly flinch and rearrange his thoughts.

Hearing him, Mo faintly chuckled, then shrugged, “I guess I am…,” he said and sighed, one arm wrapping around Tian’s waist, pulling him closer. This is not what he had said he would do when he was going to see Tian. He had said that he was going to punch him and strangle him for bailing out on them, on him, and yet now he was stuck there, desperately needing to just have him near.

A soft shudder went down Tian’s spine and he shrank a little in Mo’s arms. “You keep doing that, okay?” he said and inhaled deeply again. “But I need to ask you a favour, too…,” he added and straightened up, his eyes locking with Mo’s, his expression serious.

“And that is?” the redhead instantly squinted, not too sure what to think for a moment.

“You wait for me…,” Tian instantly said and hugged him to him a little tighter, hiding his face against Mo’s neck again. 

“Excuse me?” Mo blinked when he was not given a chance to understand fully what Tian had meant. He wanted to turn his head and look at him, but instead, the embrace got even tighter, so he resigned himself and just held him. 

“You heard me…,” Tian said, “don’t make me repeat it…,” he threatened, but this time he didn’t sound threatening at all, just defeated. “You know what I mean and I really mean it…,” he added for good measure then sighed once more.

“Yeah, I know you meant it,” Mo lightly shook his head, rolling his eyes in the process. But he knew that Tian didn’t need to ask him that. Sometime along those three weeks of absence, he had decided by himself that he was going to wait. For what exactly, he didn’t know, but the answer had suddenly become very clear to him. 

“You didn’t answer…,” Tian’s muffled voice reached his ears.

“I’ll wait for you…,” Mo finally answered, “but…,” he continued and instantly felt Tian straightened up and look at him.

“But what?”

A little taken aback, but amused, too, Mo lightly smiled, “Well, it is only fair I ask the same from you, no?” he said, his voice faintly wavering. “You wait for me, too…,” he added, part of him expecting Tian to start laughing.

“Deal!” Tian replied in a heartbeat, without a second thought, then went back to hug Mo as though nothing had happened.

Blinking at the answer, Mo made a soft sound. Had they just promised that to each other? Was this a mistake? Because if it was, that pain in his chest was softening and the thought that Tian was not going to be around every day felt less painful. He wondered then, for how long was he going to deny the fact that he felt more for Tian than friendship. He was not sure if ‘just friends’ were sneaking in into the gym just to hug, making promises of never look at someone else until they would be reunited again.

Heaviness twisted in the pit of his stomach, but as though Tian had sensed his distress, Mo felt himself being pulled even closer, strong arms around him, hands gently rubbing his back. _‘Fair enough’_ , Mo decided. He was going to wait… he had no say in it, he was stuck there, with Tian… yet that thought was less frightening than it had been weeks ago. Maybe because now he knew, Tian was not gone. Tian had never been gone and Tian had come back… to him.


End file.
